Are You Rocking Financial Partnership With Your Lover?
If you aren’t (yet!), you’re not the only one. Sex and money can be the toughest topics for couples to dive deep into without historical trigger points coming up. These rich topics can bring up shame, obligation, guilt, fear, anger, sadness or resentments just to name a few of the tumultuous feelings we all carry in those arenas.
Yet, what if discussing money and forging a common financial vision with your partner could create deeper levels of connection and intimacy when done in an artful way?
Having regular money dates that clarify what your joint financial vision is, addressing the obstacles to getting there and defining clear, committed action steps can ignite new levels of passion and intimacy in your relationship.
Once you get on the same page and consciously choose to partner up in your financial life, you can join forces to realize your dreams and ultimate financial vision, drawing on each other’s gifts and talents.
Are You The CEO Or The CFO?
When I work with couples, I ask them to identify which one is the CEO, and which one is the CFO.
The CEO is the vision-keeper of the partnership. The ‘chief executive officer’ of the financial partnership is the one who naturally holds the vision, and can upkeep the connection to shared financial goals, intentions, hope, and inspiration as the process unfolds.
The CEO easily understands and perceives the larger picture — they get a bird’s eye financial view of where they know the couple can go with money and success over the course of their life.
The other part of the equation in any financial partnership is the CFO. Much like the chief financial officer in the business world, the CFO is skilled with managing details. The CFO can be on top of overseeing tracking systems, surveying how the couple is doing against their goals, and giving regular financial reports to the CEO so the CEO knows exactly what’s going on with the finances.
The CFO keeps a pulse on the couple’s finances in a detailed and practical way.
How To Keep Your Financial Partnership Soulful & Sexy
To get started with your financial partnership, and to keep it sustained, soulful and sexy, I suggest you implement regular financial meetings filled with intention, fun, and connection.
Start with giving your financial meetings a meaningful name.
Some examples are:
Going For The Vision
Once you’ve got it, it’s time to get down to business!
Here are my guidelines for financial meetings that are guaranteed to yield a partnership that’s turned on, powerful, and successful.
1) Schedule mindfully
Schedule your time together intentionally. Lock your financial meetings into your calendars, with a minimum slot of one hour. Keep your scheduled time as a sacred commitment and a high priority in your life.
2) Open with intention
Open this time together by stating your intentions for the meeting, how you want to experience the meeting, and what you want to focus on and/or accomplish.
3) Acknowledge Your Progress
Acknowledge at least one financial success you’re currently experiencing together. Next, acknowledge at least one challenge you want to transform with the power of your financial partnership.
4) Set Transformation Into Motion
Bring focus to the areas of intention. For example, it could be processing where the breakdowns are occurring, doing a visioning process together (this can be fun to do in a new environment like at the beach, a luxurious hotel, in nature, a café, etc.), reviewing your budget reports, assessing cash flow, coaching action items, refining financial goals, identifying action items towards those goals, etc.
This is the part of the meeting where you identify what you wish to transform, and the best way to get there.
5) Commit To The Action Steps
Commit to the action steps that have resulted from your time together, along with who is going to do what by when.
6) practice Transparent Communication
Speak to any uncomfortable feelings that may be present – for example I am feeling nervous, uncomfortable, hesitant, angry, sad, excited, shut down, etc.
7) Complete With appreciation
Complete your financial meeting with acknowledging each other for at least one thing that the other is doing to contribute to the financial partnership and how important that is to you.
8) alternate Bird’s Eye and Bug’s Eye
Alternate two kinds of financial meetings: bird’s eye and bug’s eye. Bird’s eye meetings focus on visioning, goal setting, goal assessment, vision boards, goal successes, goal challenges and goal action steps. On the other hand, bug’s eye meetings focus on reviewing financial reports and budgets, identifying successes, challenges, creating new strategies for the challenges, paying bills, assessing cash flow, etc.
With this structure in place and a genuine level of intention and commitment to your financial meetings, I’m confident you and your partner will realize the financial vision of your dreams if they are most aligned for you.
And remember, this is sacred time that is conducted in a professional way, since your resource of time is a non-replenishable resource. So make it count towards something amazing!
I wish you and your partner an incredible, soulful, and sexy adventure with money!
PS: Sometimes it can be helpful to have a mentor or mediator bridge these conversations initially, so the trigger points can be worked through. Schedule a complimentary discovery call to learn more about couples’ financial coaching here.